God tests us and puts us through trials to make us stronger, to give us hope when we are weak, to build us up, to offer us more then what we can see. I have seen his fingerprints all over my life, up and down, backwards and forwards. I have trouble seeing what he sees. Every time I am tested with trials, I find it so hard to trust that things will work out just as he planned. It is often so hard to accept and follow a path that I can not see. It is hard to trust that he will take care of me. Yet he always pulls through and then I wonder how he could ever look at me and love me for who I am, but he has made me this way. The bible says that god sees us as his perfect children, a masterpiece in his eyes, a beautiful creation-- to everyone he is deeply in love with and cares for.
I believe times of sorrow are necessary to build character-- but every day I ask myself when the trials I am put through will end, when will I finally achieve the things I want in life and be able to tell myself and believe that I am worth something. I have felt so sad inside for the longest time. I search to be loved and to belong. My mom has always told me, I carry my heart on my sleeve laid out for the world to hurt me.
