Thursday, August 26, 2010

You are beautiful.


The other day I was on my was to church and was listening to probably my most favorite radio station other than WBGL , K-Love, and I was listening to their morning show. I heard them talk about a movement among women across the Chicago area. What is this movement you ask? Operation Beautiful--a movement to boost women and girls of all age's self esteem- post-it notes saying "you are beautiful" are put on the mirrors of girls bathroom mirrors where ever these woman would go, every where around the Chicago land area. These people would carry post-it notes with them and a pen and post not on mirrors but on clothing racks, make-up stands, and where camera displays are saying "your picture perfect".  Growing up as a girl I understand that my biggest enemy is myself. We constantly judge ourselves telling ourselves that we are overweight, not pretty enough, that we are not worth others time, that we will never be as good as the better looking girl across the room and on our face we smile, but inside all I really want to do is feel better about myself. 


I decided to start this movement in my own environment, at my school, at my workplace, where ever I go. By posting these post-it notes I could make the difference in the girl's life that walks into the bathroom after me. I could be the one that brightens her day when she is looking at herself in the mirror. I encourage others to do this. I posted my first note last tuesday in the girls bathroom at my college campus. Today while eating in the cafeteria,  the girls sitting at the table next to me were talking about how nice it was that someone put that note on the mirror. We can make a difference, by being a light to others, and I hope God will use this to change hearts in others and draw them closer to him. 

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Jesus,the teacher.

Since doing my bible study with Kay, we last focused on our lesson titled Jesus, the teacher. At the end of each section there is a take home portion as to which I can journal with. I choose to use this blog as my journal. When I was in high school I thought I wanted to be a teacher. I wanted to be the person that my students could come to for questions not just about homework but about anything. Teachers are so influential in a students life. Think about it! There is one teacher in your life, that you will never forget. For me it was my fourth grade teacher; Mrs. Webb. Although I am not in contact with her anymore, Mrs. Webb impacted my learning experience the most because she was so genuinely nice all of the time. She showed authority in the classroom, while still being able to be the friend that sometimes some of us need. Just like Mrs. Webb, Jesus, the teacher, showed authority. He instructed the men to follow him, and they dropped everything immediately, left there friends and family behind and they followed him. For me that would be so hard, I would ask so many questions. Questions like what is going to happen to my family ? Am I going to be ok? What happens next? before I up-and follow him. He also called the fishermen to be fishers of men as in to be disciples who make disciples. Tomorrow I will meet with Kay to talk about Jesus, the healer. Until then, lord please grant my soul the serenity to focus tomorrow, let me not just learn on the days of bible study but to cary them out day by day not just on the day I meet with kay or Sundays. Let me be an act of your will in love. Also, please remind me, because I need help with this, that its not always what I want that is best for me but your will. Amen.

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Beginning in Jesus.

Recently, I decided that it was best that I engage in a bible study. Not sure what I wanted I prayed that God would show me the path to take. Last week I met with Kay for our  first meeting of the bible study me and her started, the book we are using titled: Beginning in Jesus. Foundations need to be made. I look back, and I feel like its been a while since I was saved, but it really hasn't. I still need guidance, and I am still learning things day after day. I need this. It is what is best. In order to change my world of being filled with pride, fear, doubt, sadness, and heartache that I let rest upon my shoulders, everything and anything I do should always Begin in Jesus and lastly End in Jesus. He should be the only one I turn to. Life is more than material possessions. More than tomorrow and more than my future on Earth. I am still finding it hard even now.  

The study will go as followed. Last week Kay and I meet and went through the introduction of the book. Tomorrow when we meet we will discuss fellowship. The sections follow after as such: discipleship, ministry, evangelism and lastly worship, all of these being five major biblical purposes that lead to spiritual growth. The book says to compare it like this. If you play baseball, you can be an outstanding batter--but you still need to be able to know how to catch, run, throw and slide. You need more than one skill to impact your team. In the same way, having a handle on one or two of the five biblical purposes is great--but when they're all reflected together in a person's life, that person is much more biblically balanced and healthy. Each session that me and Kay complete will have a theme and places in the Beginning in Jesus Book for me to journal, write comments, discuss questions, and read a few short stories. The fellowship section has a theme of connecting your heart to others. The discipleship section has a theme of growing to be like Jesus. The Ministry section has a theme of serving others in love; the evangelism section has a theme of sharing your story and God's story, while the worship section has a theme of surrendering your life to honor God. Not only does this book have all of those things to help during the bible study, it even has at home sections with in each section so that when Kay and I are finished I can at some point during the week take time out to continue the bible study on my own doing weekly reflections, daily bible readings with passages provided, training myself with memory verses. I can also journal in the book or finish the wrap up section that has many questions that can not always get answered in the sessions. 

I am excited to start this adventure with Kay and Jesus by my side. It will take trust, confidentiality, honesty, care, openness, risk, and a weekly commitment to meet regularly but I am so so so ready for it. 

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Things I would like to do before I Marry.

-Rent my own apartment with a room mate
-Own a nice pretty camera like nikki's, i really wish i had a good camera
-Become a Full Time worker
-Finish School, or at least close to it.
-Go on a road trip, one that lasts over a week or two
-Visit Washington DC/ New York/ Pennsylvania
-Pay off as much student loans as I possibly can
-Save $10,000 or more
-Get in Shape
-Loose Weight
-Go on a Cruise to somewhere warm
-Go to a concert
-Go on a camping trip, sleep in a tent, and sit around a campfire

Monday, August 9, 2010

Walking on Sunshine.

Dearest Readers, I haven't really been posting the past couple of days only because I've been so busy, please forgive me. Yesterday I spent time with Anthony and his family making pasta the real italian way and reminiscing in memories. I learned the trade secret to getting tomato paste perfectly out of the can. Something I never knew but am glad I do now because it will serve as useful! I learned how to make the famous Giacobbe pasta sauce. That will serve useful to, now I won't be able to settle for the mediocre Prego Sauce from Wal-mart any more. Sunday Pasta Days are always fun at the Giacobbe house! After we ate we sat and talked for hours, going through old photographs when Nicole, Anthony, and Vincent were young'ins. God really showed me yesterday that family is the heart of every home. 

I really Love spending time with and being around family. Doing Projects. 
Being involved. Helping, and even sharing memories. It can clear up any rainy day, literally. 

Today I had to work, which wasn't that bad, it was a nice steady day. Not to busy and not to slow, just perfect, just the way I like it. I then picked up Meagan and we headed out to see the movie "Salt" which turn out to be an amazing movie filled with tones of action, the ending suggests and i hope there will be another movie to it. God showed me today that friendship can be the bond that holds you together. Your Lean-to. I could get used to this. 

Today my prayer to God is this, Lord, don't let me take one moment for granted. Let me cherish each memory. Constantly show me that this is your will. Let me enjoy the ride along your path. I'm having fun sitting in the passengers seat. So Lord show me more. Amen.

Sunday, August 8, 2010

I need a candle light to the darkness.

Now more than ever, I am finding it very hard to keep pressing on. After all I've been through, after all my struggles, all my pains,  there is still more, still more that sets me back. I have so many hopes and dreams and they seem to fade every time a road block comes into place. Is this really what God wants? I want if more than anyone, but still, I stay waiting, never achieving. The lord is my portion so I will continue to wait for him. But why is it so hard for me? For a while now I have been struggling with the fact of, "Is what I want, Is that what God wants, or is What I want not what God wants."

They say time heals all wounds, but sometimes--
 one can only wait so long before they break. 
The Lord is my portion so I shall wait.

God, I know that in the past I have been very inpatient. I have been very stubborn about having things my way. I know that its in your time that things will be put in place for me, but right now I'm finding it hard to wait. Im finding it hard to be patient. Please help me find the courage to stay strong, to be patient, and to love the life I have for now. Amen.

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Days off are for restoration.

Today I had the opportunity to have a day off and just relax and be by myself. I wont have very many more of them left, since I start going back to school for my third semester of college on August 24, 2010. I will be working part-time but almost nearly full time hours and going to school full time--my days off will be dedicated to study and classroom time. Usually I spend my tuesdays and thursday-- or days off-- running early in the morning, visiting anthony at work for lunch, spending time with the Giacobbe Family, running errands, or shopping and starting this thursday I will be doing bible studies with Kay Peycke. Since I work five days a week for almost nearly full shifts of nine hours, including my lunch hour, it gets tiring sometimes and sometimes it even gets stressful. With all of the things going on in my life, I can become quite the busy bee. Today I took the opportunity to catch up on my rest sleeping in till around 9 o'clock and also taking an after noon nap, which was quite refreshing I might add. I jammed out to some Toby Mac- Get Back Up,  took a drive to my favorite Pop's Restaurant and ordered a Chopped Salad, unfortunately for all of you who love their chopped salad, it is only sold at the Pop's Homewood location, so it is a bit of a drive for the Lockport area-- I will add though that it was delish! It was a me time day. I also spent some time in Gods word today.

It is nice to have days off, committed solely for rest-- restoration. 

We come to church on Sunday's but sometimes as the week goes on, and our schedules however busy or crazy they get, things can get in the way of remembering him. That is why I like days off. They give me time that I can stop from the going's on and the rush and focus on prayers, jam out to awesome worship songs--which i play through itunes on my computer-- and dedicate the day for restoring my soul. Today my prayer is simply that God, no matter how busy I get will continue to amaze me, continue to give me the days of rest that I need, and that no matter how busy I get that he will remind me of the reason why I love and need to make time for him. Amen.

Monday, August 2, 2010

Unanswered prayers don't really go unanswered.

Today I learned a valuable lesson. To wait. To be Patient. Not that I didn't already know that I should wait and be patient on the lord but today it just really sunk in. For the past couple of months, I've tried so hard to achieve a certain goal, a goal I have really been pushing for. In the past I had people tell me simply that it's just not my time yet. Some comments I took to heart and others I pushed aside because I didn't want it to be true. However, today I got to talk to someone, whose I respect and value, who really put that into perspective for me in a nice, and graceful way that finally made sense to me. Long story short-- it wasn't that I'm not ready to achieve this certain goal because I want to go whole-heartedly after it, however I need more time before I get to it. After talking to this person, I walked outside and sat in my car, turned on K-LOVE and "Bring the rain" by Mercy Me (If you haven't heard it yet a link will be provided below to listen to the song) was playing and this reality was laid on my heart, that god is telling me that now is not the right time. This goal happened to be something I've been praying for daily for a really long time, that I would get this opportunity. My unanswered prayer.

If every prayer that anyone and/or everyone prayed was always 
answered, then this world would be in ruins and end in disaster. 

Unanswered prayers are good for the soul. Although, they bring us pain for the moment, they are what is best for us. God knows what is best for us. God knows what is best for me and this time I am going to listen. I cant make this decision on my own. In a way, god did answer my prayer--just not in the way I wanted him to. I asked for him to give me the opportunity and instead he told me to wait. I know my god is faithful and true. I will ride out this thunderstorm. I will walk through the rain, and I will be faithful and wait. Lord, just like the song "bring me rain" says-- Bring Me Joy. Bring Me Peace. Bring the chance to be free. Bring me anything that brings you glory, and I know there'll be days when this life brings me pain, but if thats what it takes to praise you. Then Jesus bring the rain. Amen.

When we are worried.

When I am worried, often times I find that, I--myself alone, tend to try to shift things to go my way. I will admit that if there was a way of getting something to work out the way I wanted it to that I would find it. Now that it has been a little over a year and four months since I was reborn I am starting to realize, now more so than ever, that I can't do it on my own. I can't truly "live" on my own. I can't worry on my own either. When I worry, I jump to conclusions. I start to navigate on my own to end my own worry. I just plain am not myself. The bible says clearly: do not worry. In Philippians 4:6, we are commanded, “Do not be anxious [do not worry] about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.”

 How often do you present your request to God? 
How often is it that we give our request to him and let him show us the correct path to take ? 

With all things good, I should not worry! For my God is my salvation, even if everything is taken away from me. Today Pastor Scott Newman preached on Philippians 1:20-24. This was an excellent sermon. If you didn't get a chance to hear it, below at the end of this blog I will provide a link to listen to it online. Just absolutely excellent!! What really struck me out of this sermon was when he talked about how Paul, after everything had been taken away from him, he focused on his joy in God. Paul was tough! If it had been me in his shoes I don't think I would have made it. His life was planting churches and after all of that when he got imprisoned he rejoiced in the lord. Me--I would have worried about what was coming next. I would have worried that my life was ruined. He preached "Following Jesus through obstacles"-- one of my obstacles is worry. I worry to much for my own good. When I worry I try to remember that God made the plans, and God is the one who gave me life. He GAVE me life. It is not my place to try and make it my own. I will obey they lord, because I love him, I need him. He has no intentions of leading me in the wrong direction. He has plans for good and not disaster, to give me a future [but in his time, and will--not mine] and a hope. A hope that is eternal. He is there by my side every day step by step, and I am not just a face in the crowd to him--I am his child, whom his will protect. Lord I pray that when I am faced with worry, like I have been, that you will show me the path to take when I come to you with my worries. I pray that you will show us that when we are worried that you will taken the burden off our shoulders and place atop yours, and that if we seek out your will whole heartedly that you will show us the best and most right path to take in your time. Amen.

Pastor Scott Newman's Sermon -- click on the one for August 1, 2010